Some people think of umbrella drinks, decadent luxury and a trouble-free existence when they hear you’re going sailing in the Whitsundays for a week. That’s not my cup of tea, luckily. Our Whitsunday sailing week may not have offered rejuvenating relaxation, but it did allow us to grow as people, which is the new black when it comes to holidays.

Morning at Maccona Inlet, Hook Island

Our dear friends had booked Wazabi, a 16-year-old Catalina 350 without skipper, and invited Martyn and I to share the experience. Boat years is a bit like dog years so you have to multiply by 7 to understand the vessel’s true condition. The grand old dame looked rather perky on first (external) inspection but some of her internal organs needed an urgent transplant, we soon learnt.

Our aft cabin gave us a taste of what a final ride at the back of a hearse will feel like, but a few bruises and forehead bumps into the week, we got the hang of it. Kind of. Luckily, we didn’t find out the hatches weren’t waterproof until it rained.

The saloon’s wood panelling featured knee high water stains, which may or may not have been connected in a fascinating way to the bilge pump expelling large amounts of water every half hour.

The fridge/freezer tried to compensate for Wazabi’s shortcomings by working overtime. The name iceberg lettuce finally made sense, and we enjoyed the breakfast novelty of frozen yoghurt and frozen everything. This very cool storage unit featured two hatches in the benchtop as well as a door on the front. The door allowed access to the frozen beer, wine, gin and tonic at the bottom, but care had to be taken that the food stacked on the fridge shelf above didn’t come tumbling out. Shaken, not stirred, if you please.

But the part of Wazabi that offered the most opportunity for mental growth was the head. (Land crabs may call it the toilet but if you’re a sailor with any amount of pride it’s so much more logical to call it the head). Many years of dealing with affluent effluent meant this poor loo had had enough. After less than 24 hours of macerating marine grade toilet paper and our deconstructed seafood dinner, it decided we needed to be taught a lesson about eating such a fibre rich diet. Captain Martyn was head of operations, so to speak, as he emptied the offending content of the clogged facility.

We had only reached as far as Nara Inlet on Hook Island, so when Queensland Yacht Charters told us to return to base for the loo to be fixed, we obliged by getting up at dawn and motoring back to Coral Sea Marina. By the way, motoring, we were told at the induction, also happened to be necessary for a minimum of three hours a day, as without solar panels there was no other way to feed the fridge beast or anything else on the boat requiring power.

By about midday, Wazabi’s constipation issues had been sorted, and we set off anew. The breeze was good so we managed to arrive at Maccona Inlet only a little bit later than the daily anchoring time stipulated by Queensland Yacht Charters. All vessels in their fleet were recommended to reach their overnight spot by 2pm and requested to be securely anchored no later than 4pm.

A friendly potato cod at Maccona Inlet

That night we enjoyed a lovely dinner in flat-as-lake conditions and were blessed with a visit to the back of the boat by a fish as big as a big person. The potato cod was almost as long as our inflated tender, and it stayed with us for an hour, grazing on minnows gathered to nibble on our hull.

Next day, after a quick morning stroll on land and a few swim strokes along the golden beach, we upped anchor and steered towards Hook Passage. We also contacted Queensland Yacht Charters to let them know the only toilet on board was again out of order. They said they’d get in touch with us a bit later about it, and when they did, we were on the eastern side of Whitsunday Island well on our way towards Whitehaven Beach. We were told to immediately return to base to have the toilet that they fixed the day before, fixed.

The first time the toilet broke, they told us to use a bucket for our needs until the toilet had been repaired. This time, we were a long way away from Coral Sea Marina and suggested that we use the bucket for now, but this solution was suddenly not an option according to the manager of Queensland Yacht Charters who now put on her school principal voice and DEMANDED that we return to base OR SHE WOULD SEND SOMEONE TO GET US. We suggested to the manager that surely there would be a variety of solutions to explore, including them sending someone out to us in a fast runabout to fix the toilet, or to get it fixed at Hamilton Island marina once we got closer. Bucket ablutions are not on most people’s bucket list but we reiterated that it was a preferred option in the meantime so as to not steal any more holiday time from our week.

Hill Inlet looking towards Whitehaven Beach

The radio communication must have sounded like a daytime TV drama to the surrounding yachties. The manager told us to call her on a mobile phone but unfortunately, we were out of range. We stopped for lunch at Tongue Bay, then walked up to the lookout and marvelled at the brochure-like view of Hill Inlet with its marbled turquoise and sand coloured expanse. The wind had picked up a fair bit by afternoon as we set a course for nearby Chalkies Beach. The radio communication with Queensland Yacht Charters resumed but reception was erratic, adding confusion to conflict. It was finally agreed that we’d meet them the following morning at Hammo which was a relief after a day of an extreme case of uncooperativeness and unwarranted aggression.

Chalkies Beach

A public mooring buoy suddenly became available to put a cherry on top of our positive turn of events, and the evening was spent frisbee throwing on the white sandy beach, swimming, cheese and crackers eating and champagne drinking. Ahh, holidays.

The bliss didn’t last long though. Early next morning we motored towards Hamilton Island when we were contacted by Queensland Yacht Charters. Why hadn’t we spent the night at Hammo marina as agreed, the manager demanded to know!? The fact that we had checked in with them at Chalkies to let them know we were safely attached to a green/blue buoy the night before seemed to not have registered with the irate manager, and our poor Captain Martyn had to endure a telling off that exceeded the previous day’s blasting from her. We all felt sick and in utter disbelief at this person’s idea of customer service which resembled the ramblings of a maniac on drugs.

At least the employees of the charter company were nice, normal people, and we were pleased to again see the young mechanic-turned-plumber who’d been sent to fix the darn toilet. We stocked up on seafood at the excellent IGA before casting off and head to Turtle Bay for the night. The anchorage proved a little rocky for the south-easterly swell, but we did enjoy a lovely pre dinner swim and being able to use the loo on board – all toilet paper disposed of in a lined bucket placed in the shower cubicle just to be extra cautious.

Exploring Long Island

A beautiful breeze the following day brought us around the south end of Hamilton Island, then we took advantage of the tidal flow leading past Pine Island and up around the tip of Long Island which was our next destination. Exploring Happy Bay by foot we came across a variety of typical local creatures including a large goanna, a couple of inquisitive wallabies and a bunch of friendly tourists staying at the Palm Bay resort.

A day of exploring South Molle Island’s many walking tracks

Some people say all good things come in threes. Well on Wazabi that’s a load of cr*p. Our next and final overnight stop was at South Molle Island which is surprisingly, stunningly beautiful with a varied landscape and many walking trails which we took advantage of. There is also a public amenities block which we eagerly made use of because, guess what. Our toilet had given up again.

Anna Alvsdotter, SV SnO

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